Lies I Tell My Children

Whoever said “Honesty is the best policy” clearly didn’t have children, especially toddlers.  I dunno about you Momma’s, but parenting The Twincesses requires a ton of little white lies just to make it through the day!  Hubby and I lie to avoid crying, tantrums, meltdowns, screaming, because we’re tired, because they’re tired, because we don’t want to, can’t, it’s too expensive, to improve behavior….the reasons are endless.   Why do you lie to your kiddo’s?


These are the most common lies Hubby and I tell The Twincesses:

1-“It’s too spicy” whenever we don’t want to share what we’re eating (like the good expensive chocolate) or it’s not appropriate for toddlers to drink, like soda & alcohol.

 2-“If you do (insert thing) again we’re not going (insert place) anymore!”  This happens like every 5 minutes.  I literally used this yesterday a bazillion times before we took The Twincesses to the petting zoo & corn maze.  It’s nothing but an empty threat because following through is punishing me and Hubby more than it would be punishing 2 year olds who would be just as content playing at home.

3-“If you don’t stay in your bed the monster will eat you!”  Yep, we’re fantastic parents!  When you have twins who share a room sh*t gets crazy, and it’s all about survival.

4-“If you’re a bad girl Santa/Easter Bunny/Mommy & Daddy won’t buy you presents” Biggest lie ever.  We buy The Twincesses presents almost weekly, like actually…. I may have a slight shopping addiction.

5-“We don’t have any!  We’ll get some next time we go to the store.”  Whenever The Twincesses ask for some sort of junk food or candy that we don’t want them to have this is a great save!

6-“It’s broken!”  When I have to turn off or take the batteries out of the stupid, annoying, talking demonic toys that are driving me crazy!

7-“It’s bedtime.” When it’s really not for an hour…again this is for survival.  Typically this happens on very hard parenting days and on days where The Twincesses are extra crazy, cranky or tired and Hubby and I just can’t adult anymore.

8-“It’s the most wonderful drawing/painting/unrecognizable craft I’ve ever seen!”  Because it might look like garbage, but they tried really hard, and made it with love, for us!

9-“Later”.  9 times out of 10 there is no later.  It’s just easier than dealing with the wrath of The Twincesses if we say no!

10-“If you don’t come here right now I’m leaving without you!”  This is probably the emptiest threat I use.  As if I would take off, and leave my Twincesses anywhere when I can barely let them spend the day at their grandparents without having an anxiety attack!

What are some lies you tell your kids?


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